Considering popping the cherry? Read this first.

To deal with a flasher, you might try the simple approach: If that doesn't work, use the app's blocking function to curb the harassment; most dating apps support a method to block users. Another option to stop someone who flashes you on a dating app is to report the abuse to the service. If even a few people do this, chances are they will look into it and take action, like delete the profile from the dating site. The reverse of the flasher, but perhaps more annoying, is the art collector.

This is a gay app user who is incessant of their demands to see your portfolio.

The 8 Guys You Meet on Grindr (and Other Gay Apps)

Like with most abuse cases in dating apps, a simple block of that user is enough to stop the messages. The guys who make up this community of app users aren't necessarily bad people, but if you are looking for a friend or a romantic connection, they are potentially unavailable and it can also get messy in a flash.

Tread carefully if you aren't into no-strings-attached situations.

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Typically found on gay apps without a photo in sight or some abstract, illustrated, or otherwise unidentifiable image like a wall or their bed, the secret agent has something to hide. These users may be very good, emotionally available people, but it's still wise to practice caution.

I identify as gay but should I try dating women? - bisexual | Ask MetaFilter

The last thing you want is to talk with them for weeks, months, or even longer only to have them always be too afraid to meet up for fear of coming out. When someone asks, you can tell them that: That question is designed to shame and manipulate you. Anal penetration might hurt the first time you try it. Your ass has to expand to accomodate a penis, and this stretching can hurt. Going slow and gentle, using plenty of lube, communicating, and taking frequent breaks is how you get better at it.

A word of warning from Alex Cheves.

Read my guide on bottoming health and safety tips here. If you want to research different methods of cleaning men who have sex with men do, go for it. Many guys douche before sex, but douching is not a requirement to have a good experience. You can use water to clean your butt specifically, the lower part of your rectum, the space just inside your hole with a drugstore enema or handheld bulb. If you buy a drugstore enema, many of them are filled with laxatives, which you should empty out and replace with water before you use them.

Going too fast or too rough can be painful I recommend a thick, silicone-based lube for the insertion tip. Also, make sure you try to release all the water into the toilet — leftover water stuck in your butt can cause discomfort later on. When your butt is filled with water, wait a few seconds, then release it into the toilet. Repeat as necessary until the water is clear.

Be gentle, and go slow! Again, not every guy douches before sex.

A healthy, fiber-rich diet lots of veggies, less meat eliminates the need to douche for some. Whether or not it ruins the sex mood is up to you.

Gay Men Try Kissing Women

Douching should be minimal. A fiber-rich diet, or a daily fiber supplement like Metamucil, will minimize how much time you spend in the shower or on a toilet. All sexually active people do.

How Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men Explain Their Encounters

Having any sex puts you at risk for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and other sexually transmitted infections, or STIs. Thankfully there are many ways you can protect yourself. The only drug approved for PrEP is Truvada, but more are on the way. PrEP requires good health insurance and an understanding doctor who is aware of your health needs. Even after you go to college or move away from your parents, you may still be on their insurance, which means that they still see bills from the insurance company. Before seeing a doctor, always check and sign your patient confidentiality form.

Other, less severe STIs, like oral and genital herpes and HPV, are so common that most sexually active people are at high risk of catching them. In most cases, their symptoms are mild or nonexistent.


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The best thing you can do to protect yourself is have a doctor who you trust, who performs regular checkups. If you have any symptoms, or experience anything on your body that may or may not be related to an STI, always tell your doctor about them. For people with no sexual history, Gardasil vaccinates you against strains of HPV most commonly associated with certain types of cancer.

For those with sexual history, the Gardasil vaccine is still recommended, since it may still be able to fight future strains of cancer-related HPV. Most sexually active adults get an STI at some point. You probably will. The wonderful benefits of sex far outweigh the risk of STIs.

A common STI like chlamydia might require you to stop having sex for a week or two while the medicine clears it up.

He would always tell me he wasn't like me, and couldn't be, because he 'had his whole future ahead of him'. The idea that my future was irrelevant and that admitting he was with me would ruin his made me feel worthless and I ended up battling depression for years. Gay men aren't toys to be practised on. Bisexuality was often the only concession to less binary labels, but is and was often a source of derision among straight and gay people alike, characterised by accusations of greed or indecision. The closest anyone got for many years was the advent of metrosexuals — basically straight men who used moisturiser and took longer than five minutes to get ready in the morning — and drunk straight women getting off with each other for a dare.

And even these were very much about straight people play-acting than any serious comment on evolving sexuality. Everybody else had to stay in lane, their labels hanging over them. A sign things could be changing, for the better, are men who are comfortable with their status as a man who sleeps with men, and refuse to be bound by labels.


  1. They might want casual sex, but aren’t willing to admit it!
  2. gay devotees into disabled dating.
  3. 21 Things to Know Before Losing Your Gay Virginity.
  4. 10 Red Flags for Gay Men on a First Date.
  5. They don’t want to be ‘just’ pen pals … but they also don’t want to meet;

Years after his straight-guy experience at uni, Robin somehow once again found himself in the middle of another heterosexual man's coming-out story. At first Robin assumed this was just an ego boost, but when Luke battled depression and none of his female flings were on the scene, Robin found himself as primary source of care and comfort, and feelings grew from there. And I thought that was adorable, and sensible, and kind of romantic. While some men may both have the strength of character and also the front — and it takes plenty of that, be under no illusion — to reject these labels and still be open, it should be said that labels can sometimes facilitate this.

All the time, and not too far away from us, LGBT people are fighting for the right to call themselves LGBT, but for your right to define yourself however you choose — gay, straight, fluid, curious. Just as out gay men have a duty to protect themselves from others forcing their own will upon them, maybe those refusing to conform should acknowledge their sacrifice and honour them by supporting the gay and bi brothers who keep their secrets. In private, in public, wherever.